Relationships

I find so many parallelisms in my relationship with Christ and my relationship with fitness.

Couple things I've found out as I've gotten older:

1. Your faith doesn't become YOUR OWN until you OWN that RELATIONSHIP and put in the work for it. Reading the bible, praying, serving, loving others, baptism, church... not rules or regulations, but something you do to learn more about Christ and grow deeper in relationship with him.

2. Your health and wellness doesn't become YOURS until you OWN that relationship and put in the work for it. Grocery shopping, filling your cart with wholesome foods, working out, being around positive people who support your goals, and drinking your water.

Proverbs 22:6

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

I was raised in the church. The hard headed me fought this tooth & nail in my teenage years. My parents required my brother and I to attend church and Wed night youth group. There was no budging them on that. I went & thankful for my youth pastor and his wife at the time who made it enjoyable when I was rebellious and didn't want to go.

 

But to be HONEST, your faith doesn't become your own until you OWN it. When my cousin Alex was killed in a car accident, I was a mess. Seeing my family grieve in a variety of ways made me sick to my stomach. I'm a "fixer" and "helper" by nature. But this was something I couldn't fix. Being mad at God was an understatement, and it's taken me 10 years to actually enjoy going back home to see my family. Not because I didn't want to see them. But because of the ill feeling of the memories "going home" brought me. It was easier to be away.

In the last 3 years I've made my way back to a stronger relationship with Christ. I've healed from being angry at God. And I've returned to church. I actually go to church by myself. And no it doesn't bother me. My parents raised me in the church I make the choice to go each Sunday because I realize it's not about me. Life is about serving. Service to others. And loving others through a relationship with them.

And fitness. Sure I once was 230 lbs, but that was self inflicted to be honest. I was my worst enemy. I chose to turn to food as an outlet to deal with my anxiety and stress and pain. But you know what? I can remember my mom demonstrating healthy habits. We always had a garden thanks to my dad. My mom always served fresh fruit and vegetables at each meal. And I remember my mom always going on walks or doing fitness tapes and DVDs. In high school, I don't know how many "walks" my mom and I went on just so I could vent to her. So now that fitness is apart of my adult life, I can say thank you to my parents for encouraging me to be healthy. I went astray on my own, but I returned to the positive relationship they taught me to have with myself. My parents never once condemned me, told me I was fat or overweight. But always encouraged me to be healthy. And for that, I love myself better every single day.

Funny how things come full circle as we grow up. The things like health physically and spiritually was important to them and they are important to me now. I consider the things they taught me then are what I now consider non-negotiables.

So with that...

I've heard people say I don't go to church because hypocrites are there. Well do you skip the gym or workouts because everyone there is already perfect? No. Everyone at the gym and church are far from having it together. Both church and gym are full of broken people working on becoming better versions of themselves mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

Let this be encouragement for you parents out there. No I don't have children, but I was once the stubborn hardheaded kid. Teach them. Pray over them. And trust the process of God having a plan for them. God's plan is always better than the ones we have. Trust in that.

Greatness

Since I've been MIA on my blog, I figured I need to bring it back and do a better job at keeping this up. I originally started my blog as my outlet for my fitness journey. However, I've transitioned my hobby into my career and where does one go after they've lost their weight?

For me I find myself asking what's next? Where does one go after losing a bunch of weight? It's like you have a completely different identity. Some people don't even recognize you and you may not even recognize yourself. So this whole question of identity consumes me. 

Who is ALISON?
Trainer
Chick who lost weight
Gym Rat
Fit Chick
Obsessed Person
Person who doesn't eat carbs (that's not true) :)
Woman who lives in exercise clothes
Shoe lover (I've always loved shoes though!)
Fitness Guru
Nutrition Educator
Bad Ass

This is just a list of terms I've been called on social media or to my face. I'm sure if I put a poll out there, I would get tons of responses of how people perceive me.
But really, who AM I? Who do I want to be perceived as? 

So a few weeks ago in church I heard the Worship Leader say something along the lines of;
"How can you achieve Greatness without the GREAT ONE as #1?"
I wrote that down because it struct a cord in my heart. To be honest, with all these titles or peoples perception of me... How many times can I say I identified as a follower of Christ? I truly cannot accomplish ANYTHING without Him. Yet, so many times I try to accomplish greatness WITHOUT Him. I try to do this and that on my own power and strength, but then get frustrated when things don't workout. But I truly have to ask myself, "Am I trying to Achieve Greatness without the GREAT ONE?"

So as the pastor discussed being STRONG in different ways through different SEASONS, I have to take a step back. IT'S AUGUST... we have TWO seasons left in 2018. I have to ask myself, what have I been trying to achieve the last two seasons WITHOUT the Great One and WHAT can I achieve in these next TWO seasons WITH Him as number one?

Mentally, Relationally, Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually, Financially... Am I growing? Am I letting God be #1 in each?
Humbly, I can say no. I let Him be #1 in the things that are EASIEST for Him to be number one in, and I white knuckle the rest. However, today's blog is me coming to the understanding and realization that I haven't let God be number one in many of these areas. I seem to think my plans are better that his.

But I'm reminded...
Jeremiah 29:11 
 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Cheers to the last two SEASONS of 2018 and letting God be #1!

No Easy Button. Transformation

Back at the start of 2018 I set a goal for myself to begin incorporating more yoga. The reason behind this goal is I KNOW all the facts of how good it is for my body, but it's hard for me to just be. To relax and stretch and flow is truly hard for me. Maybe it's just me, or maybe others do this, but I'm a list maker. I wanna make a list and at the end of the day check everything off and get the most of the most done and go to sleep with a feeling of accomplishment. I find yoga hard because mentally it's tough to just be.

So I made an UNCOMFORTABLE goal. I did this because hitting the easy button means I'm ok with being comfortable. And as I was thinking in church the other day how growing spiritually can be just as uncomfortable as the physical. I've found myself reflecting back after I graduated college. My first thought being out on my own was,
1. I don't have to go to church to prove I'm a Christian
Then my thoughts transitioned to,
2. I grew up in church and I miss going. I should go.
3. Then My thoughts transitioned to being held back by fear of having to go to church by myself.
At one point I remember setting my alarm and saying to myself, "How do you expect Christ to bless you if you can't give him an hour of your time during the week?"

You see, all these thoughts were the same exact thoughts that got me into the gym. It wasn't over night that I got into fitness. It has been a process.
1. I thought, I shouldn't have to be skinny for people to accept me.
2. I thought, it's not about what people think of me... it's about being healthy.
3. Then I was held back by fear of actually going to the gym and asking for help. WHERE DOES a 230lb person start?!
4. I remember my dad saying to me, if you're not actually going to TAKE ACTION and DO something about it, gonna have to accept yourself and move on.

Soooooooo..... I STARTED. Started with portion control, more water, more veggies and lean protein and moving more... THAT WAS THE START.

The same with my spiritual health, it's been a process of overcoming being mad at God. Yes, I said it. At one time I was beyond mad at God for my life not going as "I" had planned.

And so as I was sitting there in church this past week and the pastor was talking about "Transformations" the individuals from the bible had to go through to grow and I thought, "man how I have had to embrace being uncomfortable to get where I PERSONALLY am now". I'm your stereotypical type A personality. I like to plan it all out and I'm pissed if things don't go my way. BUT I'm getting better. I learning to go with the punches and have a GOOD attitude. I'm learning that it's about you attitude through the refining process. By no means have I gone through some of the things individuals have gone through in the bible (or even my clients and friends and family), but I've had my own challenges. There has been no EASY button and looking back, I'm glad there hasn't been. I've grown through my challenges and truly have worked and continue to work on being a better individual. My scars of the past have actually allowed me to help more people.

So if you're looking for an EASY button, believe me I understand. But I'm also here to encourage you and say it's worth working through. It's worth crying out to God and telling Him how pissed off you are. He's listening and keep pushing. Know God will give you strength when you need it most. He has never left us. So be encouraged your growth in the hard times will become a blessing to you and or others.

Transformation Tuesday happens on the inside before it does on the outside.
Alison