Saturday, November 23, 2013

Nutrition is EVERYTHING

I used to be the "fat girl"... Then the "girl who lost 90lbs" and then I got stuck! So many time people lose weight and sadly, gain it all back. That is exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want to be the Success Story that went bad after a few years and so I kept setting small goals. I would run 5K's, 10K's, got certified as a Zumba and spinning instructor, then certified as a personal trainer. But last January, I decided I was going to start training for another 1/2 marathon. I started my running, but my back and hips were killing me. For those who are unaware, I've had two hip surgeries where my doctor had to place 2 pins and a screw in each hip. The running was killing me. It was then I decided the running wasn't doing much for me except killing me and I needed to refocus and find another goal. I started spending more time in the weight room and loving my results. I had always been a Cardio Queen! As I continued lifting, I started to watch these female competitors that I found on my social media. I decided that getting on stage was going to be my next goal. And it is! But what I didn't understand, was the training.

Training for a competition is so much different than losing weight for health reasons. I thought, one just had to workout a lot and cut calories. And thinking I knew what I was doing, I tried it on my own. But my weight started to go up. Nothing drastic, but enough to realize I needed more guidance and help. When you don't know something, ASK for help! I started asking my followers on Twitter and Instagram who are competitors and realized that I had opened Pandora's box. I wasn't turned off though. I decided I was going to get real help and get a coach.

Which leads me to the last 6 weeks being the biggest learning experience of my life. For my birthday I went and visited a friend who competes in Figure so I could get my feet wet and decide if it's something that really interested me. And it did! It blew my mind how training for a show is so strategic. Everything is mapped out until ones show. You can't be all for it one day and then not the next day. One has to fully commit to doing a show, the workouts, but most importantly... The diet. Eating has ALWAYS been my biggest struggle, but that's why I love this. I never want to be so enslaved by food that I lack control. Someone asked me

"How can you be so strict with what you put in your mouth and be so dedicated to tracking your food consumption?" My response, "Don't look at practicing self control with food as your being punished or that your missing out on something. We eat to live, not live to eat." 

Anyways, I'm embarking on the unknown for me. It's not easy, sure I want to grab a bag of chips or eat a candy bar whenever I want to. Everyday I'm faced with food. Good choices of food and not so good choices. I ask myself "Is consuming this getting me a step closer to my goal?" If the answer is no, I practice self control and just don't eat it. And it's paying off! The scale is going in the direction my coach wants it and I'm getting stronger. I'm finding ways to cook, bake, and prepare food that I haven't done before because I'm reading, YouTube-ing videos, conversing with others who are like minded. Everyday I'm learning something new! And that's what I love. I love being challenged. I love watching my body change. I love knowing that if I keep my mind right, the body will follow. As soon as I allow self doubt and pity to enter my mind and heart, Game Over! I am in control of me. That's why I share my story. I share to provide an insight of how Success is EARNED and not given. 

I pray for each of you. That you may know the strength you have within you. I pray that you'll understand your self worth to practices the discipline you need to achieve the goals you have set. May God ALWAYS be honored and glorified.


Saturday, November 16, 2013

Once Called "Fat"

I don't talk about being the "Fat Kid" in school a whole lot, but this week I had an instance where I was reminded of the pain that the name calling causes. 

I was training one of my clients this week and she was telling about the time she ran into this guy she went to school with. She said she could remember when he had called her "fat". She hadn't seen him in forever, but when they met in person, her first inner thought towards him was "asshole".  I laughed at her because I could remember the EXACT day, time, and place when I first realized I was overweight. 

Fourth grade, elementary school, I was getting my lunch and as my class was sitting down single file. There was this table of boys from my grade and as I made my way to the table, I heard pig snorting sounds. As I sat down, I heard one of the boys yell my name and say, "can I have your pig in the blanket? You have enough pig in you that you don't need to eat that!" I looked down at my tray, stomach completely sunk, and all I wanted to do was cry. But I looked up and said, "no, this food is disgusting, you want my cookie too?!" I handed away my food and starved the rest of the afternoon just to go home and gorge myself in private because no one could judge me at home.

That was where my journey to obesity began. It began with not desiring to eat in public and would literally binge when I got home because it was a judge free zone. 

But back to my client, I actually kind of knew the person she was talking about. I told him the story this week about her remembering him calling her fat and he responded with, "Man! Women really do hold on to stuff! I'm not like that anymore." I smiled and reassured him it was completely squashed, but I wanted him to see how a small comment can form some bodies entire self image. We made light of the conversation as I joked about me once being the "fat kid" and moved on.

But here's the deal, it's not that an overweight person can't ever get over someone calling them fat, but it's an emotional struggle of looking in the mirror every single day and repeatedly believing what others think of you. Believing that your worthless and don't deserve to be happy because your fat. We begin believing we're held down by our past. It's the devils way of holding each of us down. For the longest time I would joke about being fat. It was my philosophy to make fun of myself and being fat because then no one else would. I continued to tear myself down even when others weren't. 

THIS IS WHERE MY WEIGHT LOSS BEGAN. I always had been disappointed in myself and lacked self control. I believed fat was what I was and who I would ALWAYS be. WRONG! That's why weight loss is 99% mind and 1% physical (my percentages!) The 99% is making up your mind not to continue to be the OLD YOU. The OLD YOU always made BS excuses. If the old you ALWAYS DID this, that doesn't mean the NEW you will. The body will literally do whatever you tell it. So stop sabotaging yourself, stop making the excuses I always made, and begin loving yourself so much that you practice SelfControl and Discipline. God doesn't desire to see us living in slavary to anything! Drugs, food, money, fear, people... WHATEVER is holding you back from Acheiving Greatness, I challenge you to ask God to strengthen you in your weaknesses and begin living in a life worth living!