Back at the start of 2018 I set a goal for myself to begin incorporating more yoga. The reason behind this goal is I KNOW all the facts of how good it is for my body, but it's hard for me to just be. To relax and stretch and flow is truly hard for me. Maybe it's just me, or maybe others do this, but I'm a list maker. I wanna make a list and at the end of the day check everything off and get the most of the most done and go to sleep with a feeling of accomplishment. I find yoga hard because mentally it's tough to just be.
So I made an UNCOMFORTABLE goal. I did this because hitting the easy button means I'm ok with being comfortable. And as I was thinking in church the other day how growing spiritually can be just as uncomfortable as the physical. I've found myself reflecting back after I graduated college. My first thought being out on my own was,
1. I don't have to go to church to prove I'm a Christian
Then my thoughts transitioned to,
2. I grew up in church and I miss going. I should go.
3. Then My thoughts transitioned to being held back by fear of having to go to church by myself.
At one point I remember setting my alarm and saying to myself, "How do you expect Christ to bless you if you can't give him an hour of your time during the week?"
You see, all these thoughts were the same exact thoughts that got me into the gym. It wasn't over night that I got into fitness. It has been a process.
1. I thought, I shouldn't have to be skinny for people to accept me.
2. I thought, it's not about what people think of me... it's about being healthy.
3. Then I was held back by fear of actually going to the gym and asking for help. WHERE DOES a 230lb person start?!
4. I remember my dad saying to me, if you're not actually going to TAKE ACTION and DO something about it, gonna have to accept yourself and move on.
Soooooooo..... I STARTED. Started with portion control, more water, more veggies and lean protein and moving more... THAT WAS THE START.
The same with my spiritual health, it's been a process of overcoming being mad at God. Yes, I said it. At one time I was beyond mad at God for my life not going as "I" had planned.
And so as I was sitting there in church this past week and the pastor was talking about "Transformations" the individuals from the bible had to go through to grow and I thought, "man how I have had to embrace being uncomfortable to get where I PERSONALLY am now". I'm your stereotypical type A personality. I like to plan it all out and I'm pissed if things don't go my way. BUT I'm getting better. I learning to go with the punches and have a GOOD attitude. I'm learning that it's about you attitude through the refining process. By no means have I gone through some of the things individuals have gone through in the bible (or even my clients and friends and family), but I've had my own challenges. There has been no EASY button and looking back, I'm glad there hasn't been. I've grown through my challenges and truly have worked and continue to work on being a better individual. My scars of the past have actually allowed me to help more people.
So if you're looking for an EASY button, believe me I understand. But I'm also here to encourage you and say it's worth working through. It's worth crying out to God and telling Him how pissed off you are. He's listening and keep pushing. Know God will give you strength when you need it most. He has never left us. So be encouraged your growth in the hard times will become a blessing to you and or others.
Transformation Tuesday happens on the inside before it does on the outside.