Monday, September 5, 2011

2 Steps Ahead...

Since I was young, I’ve wanted to be at the next level.  My mother says when I was crawling, I wanted to be walking.  When I was walking, I wanted to be running.  And I haven’t changed!  No matter what I’m doing, I want to be at the top and doing it ‘THE BEST’.  I fault at, “If I can’t be the best, I don’t want to do it at all”.  And this explains why I find myself so frustrated with myself in everything I do.  From school, to work, to training, to eating->I want to be the best.  I have that drive in me, but it gets me into trouble. 
I had a recent conversation with a friend about my diet.  He wanted to know details of my training.  I tried to brush him off, but he wasn’t having it.  He wanted DETAILS of how often I was eating, what I was eating, and how many calories burned each day.  I gave him a rough estimated answer that I knew he wanted to hear… But it was as if he heard the truth instead of the lie.
I unleashed my honesty: My diet has been sucky!  I had set up a 90 day period where I wanted to focus on balancing and growing in my training, eating, spiritual, and emotional wellbeing.  I wanted to become stronger in all four, and find a balance.  However, I fault at doing one better than the other.  And that is ‘over-training’.  I still get caught up on the number the scale reads.  I get hung up on this bulge.  And completely depict my body in the first 30second of waking up!  When I was really honest with myself and my friend, I’m consuming less than 900 calories, while burning around 3000 by completing 2-3 workouts in a 24hr period. 
*Humm, no wonder I was cranky, tired, and irritable?!  I would NEVER recommend anyone to do this to their own body, so why am I doing it to my own?!
ANSWER: I have put such a huge weight loss emphasis on myself!  I have taken my eyes off of being fit and more on looking like this person ‘I’ THINK ‘I’ should LOOK like.  I have driven myself into the ground trying to fulfill this imaginary and unrealistic body.  AND ONLY ‘I’ have placed that pressure on MYSELF!  I’ve forgotten how far I’ve come on my journey of being fit NOT skinny.  I’ve placed so much emphasis on where I WANT to be and I’ve lost track of taking care of myself.
So this week, I’m sticking to my diet.  There are no short cuts.  What you put in your mouth (as well as what you don’t put in), will be the results you get.  The work you put in the gym, will be the results you receive.  I’m disciplined enough to put the gym time in, I need to be disciplined enough to eat.  No more making excuses of why I shouldn’t eat, but planning out my meals to set myself up for success.  I mean, my blog is called Success In Various Forms ;)
Lesson learned:
Pursue renewal in your relationship with God and in your personal relationships.  Relationships grown only when you spend time cultivating them.  Our vertical relationship with God affects our horizontal relationships with our friends, family, coworkers, and peers.  Start with the vertical relationship and everything else will fall into place… Veneer by Timothy Willard and Jason Locy.

Four Years ago!

Four Years ago!

1 comment:

  1. That was amazing!! Girl i'm right there with you. I too am going to do my best to be MY best this week. The best me that i can be that i can be proud of. Once we get this ball rolling and we can prove to ourselves that eating well..being well and training well is exactly what we need and not more or less..then each week after that will be that much easier :)