Confession Time, REAL Talk

So I have to admit this Easter weekend, I didn’t give up the usual ‘sweets’ for Lent.  After attending a Christian college and learning the impact Lent has, I have since then tried to give up something during the time leading up to Easter to help me focus my attention on “More Christ, Less of myself” (John 3:30). SO, are you ready for this?

I gave up weighing and measuring myself.

Some of you may think that this is really odd, however, let me explain myself and the reasoning.

Leading up to Lent, I had lost 86 lbs.  But, I had hit a plateau.  I increased workouts and kept the same ‘clean eating patterns’.  However, I lost nothing.  I wanted to lose my last 15 lbs. and it had become my main focus.  Leading up to lent, I was putting working out before my prayer time, church time, and bible time and had become very obsessed with my body.  I was weighing and measuring myself every day.  I would stand and critique myself in the mirror.  I found myself surfing the web looking for different ways to lose weight- different exercise, different diets, and even weight loss gimmicks.  I would literally stand in the mirror and listen to the lies the devil would feed me.  Thoughts like, “You’re too fat.  Nobody loves a fat person.  How will I get anywhere in life, I’m fat.  Nobody wants to be around a fat person” AND many other lies.  I STRUGGLE with ‘low’ SELF-ESTEEM.  All through my school years, I was the so called ‘fat’ kid and knew other people knew I was fat.  So what did I do to cope?  I used humor!  My biggest thought was, “If I can make fun of myself before ANYONE else can, they won’t be able to hurt me.  I’ll hurt myself before others will”. 

This mentality can be very dangerous.  On the outside you put up a front like you don’t care, but in realness, you care so much.  You just want to be approved of.  So here is the REAL TALK.  Even though I have lost a significant amount of weight, only have a few more pounds to lose, I have much more work to do on my thinking.  Thus, the reason why I gave up measuring and weighing myself for Lent.  I wanted to focus all my attention on Christ and my marathon.  I feel so close to God when I’m outside in his nature and running.  That when I think I can’t run another mile, I ask God for his help and strength.  I took the time that I was spending in front of my mirror critiquing myself and picked up my bible and prayer journal.  I took this time to read about how special I am to Christ and this is what I learned.

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.  Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”  Jeremiah 1:5

“For see, today I have made you STRONG like a fortified city that cannot be captured, like an iron pillar or a bronze wall.  You will stand against the whole land- the kings, officials, priests, and people of Judah.  They will fight you, but they will fail.  For I am with you, and I will take care of you.  I, the Lord, have spoken”.  Jeremiah 1:18-19

Fat or skinny.  God loves me.  My life and Gods love for me isn’t measure by anyone or anything.  I play a significant part in His plan and that is to bring glory and honor to Christ.  I’ve used this time during Lent to refocus my attention on Christ and my race.  That everything I do and have is from Him.  I need to pause and remember that.  I encourage you all, this Easter weekend, to reflect on the real meaning of Easter.  That Jesus came to Earth as a sacrifice and paid the ultimate price- death on a cross so that we may have real life.  So when it comes down to you and your workouts and clean eating, remember that you don’t need that extra donut, chips n’ salsa, candy bar, soda, sugar drink, bagel, or any other sweets.  Make a good conscious effort to honor God with your body.  My philosophy, He has given you one body and one life.  Use what He has given you.  Don’t let the devil tear you down and tell you, “You’re no good”.  You are good.  You are loved.  Nobody AND NO ‘Thing’ will make you happy.  Do something for yourself and stop hiding.  Stop living like me.  Don’t let food become your drug.  Don’t let fear of failing hold you back.  Remember, Failing, is NOT TRYING. 

As for me and this training period, I’ve tightened up my eating and working out habits and focused on Him.  I will take my measurements and weigh myself to see how I’ve done come Easter day.  I’ll let you know how those turn out next time.  Be Blessed today.  Happy Easter Everyone.  Love you, and appreciate your encouragement and feedback!

Love A

My personal trainer and great friend Eva Shurts.  Make sure you all add her on FB and Twitter- She Rocks! :)