Thursday, April 28, 2011

Self Doubt Anyone!?

The 40 days of lent really paid off!  Weigh-in was like Christmas day.  I woke up at 6:00 am on Sunday and had feelings of excitement, restlessness, and nervousness surging through my body.  Before I took my first step on the scale, so many thoughts raced through my mind.
1.      What If GAINED weight?
2.     What if I LOST NOTHING?!
3.     I worked my booty off, I hope I have the results to show for it!
4.     What will my trainer say?
5.     What if I ate the wrong thing the whole time and it was counterproductive?!
So after a deep breath, I took a step on the scale.  Yes, 6 lbs loss!  I was really excited and hurried to take my measurement.  I lost 1 ½ inches around my stomach.  Phew!  A huge sigh of relief came over me.  At 6:15, I began texting my trainer and others the good news.  To those who received an early AM text, I do apologize! Haha.
Now, I’m off to the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon.  This Sunday!  Here are my thoughts:
1.      I’m not ready.
2.     What if I don’t finish?
3.     What if I have to walk?
4.     What if I finish last?
5.     I didn’t train hard enough!
6.     I should have run a couple more miles!
7.     What if I fail?!
WHAT IF- Self doubt?!  Why do I allow it to consume my thoughts?  Everything I do, I do it to my fullest potential.  So when I’m giving 100%, why do I doubt myself?  Truth is, I’m my biggest critique!  I allow failing to hold me back at times.  And that is exactly what Satan desires to do.  He uses people and things to distract us.  Satan encourages us to doubt ourselves because our performance isn’t the best.  But I don’t have to be the best!  I rest in the assurance that Christ doesn’t call me to perfection.  He was perfection.  Fact is, I’m going to fail, sin, fall short.  Romans 3:22-24 tells me, ‘For all have sinned, and fallen short of the glory of God’.  But, I’m ‘justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus’.  Through His mercy and grace- I am saved.  I don’t have to be perfect!  I rest in His forgiveness.  Christ see’s my effort and knows I’m TRYING.
AS FOR TRAINING, I ask- Why am I being so hard on myself?  Why don’t I rest in the fact that each run- I give it my all.  That each set & rep, I give it my all.  That each meal I plan- I give it my all.  But reality is- I’m not perfect.  If I can’t follow Christ perfectly, why wouldn’t I slip up a little on my diet or exercise plan?  I cut myself short too much of the time.  I need to rest in my training & give Sunday my all when I run.  AS FOR YOU, what are you doing?  Are you giving it your all?  Are you cutting yourself short too?  If you are, stop.  Take a step back and rest in your effort.
I encourage each of you.  Don’t beat yourself up.  You are not perfect.  I commend you for your effort.  You are trying!  I encourage you, keep at it.  Encourage others on their journey as well. 
Once again, thanks for your feedback!  Each of you are very important to me and I appreciate the time you take to read my thoughts!
My junior year of college- 2 yrs ago.

Junior yr of college- 2yrs ago



  1. Allison you look absolutely amazing. And youre going to do wonderful in OKC. Im so proud of you, thank you again for sharing. Love you

  2. you look amazing. good luck in OKC

  3. You look great! You inspire me. :)