This last Saturday I decided it was finally time to face the challenge of finding a swimming suit. Something I have dreaded for several years. I was even a life guard for 7 years! But I always hated how I looked in a suit because I wanted to look like the other women who'd walk into the pool or around at the lake and have these bodies that men would drool over. I wanted a body that others were envious of. But instead, I had the body that was trapped in fat and a mind that was holding me back from my future.
As I walked into the swim department, my head hung lower and lower. I thought so many of the suits were adorable, but I kept telling myself I couldn't wear a suit. But then I just picked something up and hit the dressing room.
As I began trying suits on, I stared in the mirror kind of surprised. I remember the last time I tried suits on I told myself I would look better than last summer. And I had progressed! So what did I do? I pulled out my phone and took a "SELFIE". Then I went to a picture I had on my phone from last summer and began comparing my body to where I was last year. I was happy for a moment! But then as I stared at myself in the mirror I began telling myself ALL the imperfections I saw in the mirror. I have this bulge here, this roll here, I want this flatter, need some more muscle here. I put the suit back on the hanger and told myself to wait till next summer, yes, next summer will be my year for a suit! I walked out of the dressing room with my head hanging once again. Then it hit me. I heard God's voice loud and clear, "Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 1:4-5) And in Proverbs 31 speaks of a wife with Nobel character. Granted, I'm not a wife, but I'm a woman of God. I'm Christ's daughter. Verse 29-31, "There are many virtuous & capable women in the world, but you surpass them all! Charm is deceptive, and beauty doesn't last; but a woman who fears The Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declaim her praise".
HUMBLED! I stood there comparing myself to all these images of what I thought was beauty. I realized, it's time to take a step back. Beauty isn't whether I have a six-pack. Beauty is knowing I'm a forgiven sinner through Christ. We all are sinners and imperfect. But the ONE perfect thing... God & his love for me. I will never accomplish a perfect body, but what I was convicted of this last week was I need to put as much focus into my relationship with Christ as I do creating my body. I realize that my body was given to me by God, and that's why I need to take care of it! It's not because I want people to adore my body, that there is sinful! I must stop allowing the devil to bring my past up and define who I am. I am God's daughter and I AM LOVED!
My goal this week is to continue to fall deeper in love with God. My self worth isn't based on how I look in a suit. My worth comes from Christ and Christ alone!